| # | Unlocked | Locked | Name | Beschreibung | Spieler | Global |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
|
| Boot Camp | Survive the tutorial! | 1 | 76.7% |
| 2 |
|
| Dogs of War | Destroy the space station! | 1 | 49.4% |
| 3 |
|
| Goodman! | "The game just called me a f$#!stick!" | 1 | 34.2% |
| 4 |
|
| Ivan Getridov | 1 | 32.2% | |
| 5 |
|
| Gorbachev | 1 | 23.7% | |
| 6 |
|
| Hand over Fist | Rip both arms off a mech | 0 | 20.3% |
| 7 |
|
| Creeper | Load the crafting menu | 0 | 18% |
| 8 |
|
| Shot to the Heart | Defeat the Worm's heart | 0 | 17.1% |
| 9 |
|
| Poo Poo Pee Pee | Punch a Toilet | 0 | 15.1% |
| 10 |
|
| You Played Yourself | Destroy bizarro Gamma Ray | 0 | 14.4% |
| 11 |
|
| Putin | 0 | 12.6% | |
| 12 |
|
| Fire in the Sky | Survive the asteroid belt | 0 | 11.5% |
| 13 |
|
| Slick Willie | Beat any level without taking damage | 0 | 9.9% |
| 14 |
|
| No Respect | 0 | 8.7% | |
| 15 |
|
| Ho Lee Fuke | 0 | 8.5% | |
| 16 |
|
| Yuri Gannadye | 0 | 6.7% | |
| 17 |
|
| The Biggest Little | Complete 9-1 | 0 | 6.5% |
| 18 |
|
| These Colors Don't Run | 0 | 6.2% | |
| 19 |
|
| Pass the Two Million Sunblock | Into the sun. Well done. | 0 | 5.8% |
| 20 |
|
| Yeah, BRAH! | Get a million points on 1-1 | 0 | 5.6% |
| 21 |
|
| Into the Void | 0 | 4.8% | |
| 22 |
|
| I am a Real American | Hatred For None | 0 | 4.8% |
| 23 |
|
| Big Balls | 0 | 4.3% | |
| 24 |
|
| Tipper Gore | Complete a level with the middle finger censored | 0 | 3.7% |
| 25 |
|
| More Weirds | Complete level 666 | 0 | 2.3% |
| 26 |
|
| The Level Above Human | Beat Heaven | 0 | 1.6% |
| 27 |
|
| Nice shootin', Tex | Get an S Rank on level 7-1 or 10-1 | 0 | 1.5% |
| 28 |
|
| Push Over | 0 | 1.3% | |
| 29 |
|
| Spineless | 0 | 0.8% | |
| 30 |
|
| Sweating Bullets | Destroy the Battle Dome without taking damage | 0 | 0.5% |